Be content to live unknown for awhile

I like to be known. I remember as a kid feeling as if I was a fly on the wall.  That's a hopeless feeling unless you think someone has a fly swatted and is out to get you. I liked having someone notice me.  It felt very loving to have someone sit down by me and listen to me.  There is something about being noticed and attention makes us feel like we matter. And yet, God asks me to "be content to live unknown for awhile". It's not a Bible verse, it's a concept. God asks me to not matter. God asks me to take a back seat willingly. Be the second fiddle in the band. Play the instrument that gets no solos. Nobody really likes to play the bass drum because it's boring.  Thump, thump, boom, boom and then a rest of all things...and yet when the bass drum is missing we are all tapping our feet. God asks me to just take a back seat in my daily walk and be content with being His child known to him and not worry about anyone else. We like to know people know we exist, we like to feel like we matter and those are good things. We do matter and we are very important. But when we become more important that he, our priorities change. God is simply asking us to be content in being in his heart and not in everyone else's hair.
Proverbs  11:2 " When pride comes then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom."  When I am content to live unknown, put others before me, see and feel Jesus in my life rather than how important I feel, God will give me wisdom. When I need to be noticed, feel important by how others treat me and get the pats on the back, often  it's my pride stepping to the front. God simply wants me to go unnoticed so He  can be noticed. It's hard for me to get out of the way sometimes so people see Jesus..it's hard for me to go unnoticed for awhile...and I don't think I am the only one...

Moments of wonder

There are times in life when we have moments of wonder. Those are the moments when we glimpse something in life that seems too glorious for us to comprehend and we just kind of drop our jaw and look like an idiot as we go "duh".
For me one of those moments was the other day during the Easter program at church. Here we had practiced this for months.  We knew what was coming  and going and who was singing, talking, reciting, and where our enterances would be. After awhile you just take things as they come..and then you have a moment of wonder. It was about the moment that the man carrying his boy in his arms to be healed by Jesus..I got chills down my back and wondered, what would it have really been like to have been healed.  We cheered and clapped as we were instructed to do but I wondered what my reaction would have been had that been my child? I have a feeling I would not have smiled at the crowd, and walked calmly on stage.  I'm wonder ...might I have dropped my child, bowed on the ground in adoration, fear, wonder and almost forgot about the healing when presented with the son of God?  In a moment of wonder,,,what would my reaction have really been?

Our days in life with three legs

Up early this a.m. to get started on my devotions when I saw Erin. Erin is our outdoor cat. She is the grand-daughter of the cat some one left at our house years ago. We name them all, and developedrelationships with them all...all that is except Erin.  She was a loner. Somewhere along the line she broke her paw. Since she didn't want us to love her she wouldn't let anyone near. It healed broken. She is a three legged cat: a very speedy three legged cat I might say. Last year her mother died. Suddenly she became very interested in relationships; with us, the dogs, the ducks, the pillow in the shop or the horses. She is lonely.
I watched as she limped across the yard today and it reminded me of  my life.  I have hurt myself in many ways and because I didn't want anyone to help me, I healed broken. Actually, having a broken leg has brought out other gifts in Erin just as being broken has brought out other things God wanted me to learn about in myself.
Being broken is normal...why we think normal is perfect I will never know. Jesus was perfect. He was abnormal.  I am broken. That is normal. I limp through life doing better than I might have done without being broken because I am aware of what broken means.  I am aware that God needs to be a part of my life so my limp is an asset not a liability. When I find myself doing and saying things from my broken perspective, I need to be reminded that God presence in my life restores my brokenness.  Being broken reminds me I need God. Being broken lets me look at others and realize we all are limping around on three legs...and that's normal. A relationship with Jesus Christ allows me the chance to speak with eloquence when all I do broken is stutter. A relationship with Christ allows me to fly without wings.  A relationship with Christ allows me...enables me and I am a different person.
Especially at Easter we are reminded that someone was perfect, then, broken, then made whole. Because of his sacrifice, we don't need to limp through life running away from things but let him heal and restore us to fly as Eagles and run and not grow weary.

Sleeping.....well not right now of course.

I used to tell the family I was going to sleep....45 minutes later after having finishing the dishes, loading the laundry, picking up the house, double checking the dogs and writinge a list for tomorrow I would head finally for bed.
Now when I say I am going to sleep, it's the time I cuddle on the love seat with the cat and go through my prayer book, prayer list and evening devotion.  And since the husband is sick and sleeping downstairs cuz he can breathe better sitting up, I get the whole bedroom to myself....except of course the cat.
So I am sleeping...or rather I am slowing myself down to prepare for sleep. When the kids were little I don't remember doing this. I fell in bed exhausted, happy and thrilled that the day ended without major injuries or melt downs.  Now, I take a nap after lunch and when I go to sleep, it's more time to think so I don't always sleep. Falling asleep is a challenge. Why is it that some of our best prayer time is when we try  to sleep?
  I woke this a.m. and challenged by the message last Sunday, I did try to rise early while it was still dark like Jesus did.  One of the many differences between myself and Jesus... I couldn't quite get out of bed. I realize Jesus didn't probably have a Serta sleeper, with extra plush queen top.  Jesus probably didn't have three nice warm blankets over him and two, no, three pillows snuggled around.  perhaps if the luxuries of life were missing, getting out of bed to pray wouldn't quite be as much of a challenge as I seem to make it. However, I can get quite intimate with God snuggled in my nest...and I can listen as he speaks to my heart...and then I get up and get the prayer book out...