The little boy that kept us laughing...

Well, they tell me you are not supposed to laugh in church. We are supposed to be joyful, but not laugh. Well, I totally defied all the odds and not just laughed in church last night but howled; inside of course. Well, no, not really. We were laughing, the people beside me were laughing, the people in back of me were laughing and we laughed ourselves out the door. Oh yes, even the people in front of us were laughing.
You see it was the Christmas program by the Elementary Children at Church. Lots, and I mean lots of kids were on stage dressed in the black T-shirt that I think said, "it's a Son". 
The boy that caught our eye, was one of the first ones on the stage and the last one off; literally. He had it. He had the smile, he had the impish twinkle in his eye, and he had the beat. You don't need a fidget spinner when you got arms, legs and hips. He was moving every which way and relatively standing still; kind of. It's hard to behave when there are hundreds of people looking at you. He did sing; once in awhile. He got the Joy down and he got his boogie down. And that was just the beginning; but I would like to see you stand for 35 minutes on stage and not itch and scratch. 
Then, here comes Mary and Joseph. What caused hysteria was the calm way that Mary said, "Joseph I have a pain; I think it's time." No way on the face of this earth has a women ever calmly said, "Honey, i am dilated to ten and by the way I have a contraction...." calmly. If you have had a contraction that racked your body and made you double over, there is nothing calm about saying anything. But the funniest thing was what came next. Joseph said, "Here Mary, I have made a bed for you to lie on." I have been married for almost 30 years. I am not sure Jim has ever made a bed... But then again they were newlyweds too.
The Angels came in next to sing; they were the Preschool. There is nothing cuter than preschool kids looking like total dorks with stuff around their head to try to imitate halo's. Just let them be cute, however it does allow for some interesting actions as no one trains their preschooler to walk around with scratchy stuff on their head. When it's a strange thing on your head, your nose scrunches up, your eyes have to look straight up to see it and then you have to wave at anyone in the audience you might know. That's all normal, but, what does an angel do when he has to sneeze? Let er rip! And he did it fairly on beat also but it didn't help our giggle factor. We were attempting to try not to egg on the preschoolers while watching the dancing behind them
. And then, here comes the wise men. Did you know wise men brought Funyuns to baby Jesus? Why not? I guess if you can have Joseph making beds and Mary calmly stating she is having a baby, bring along a bag of Funyuns. They have enough preservatives in them they would not have had to worry about spoiling. 
Christmas through the eyes of children is always a blessing. Christmas through the eyes of faith is always soul searching and Christmas through the eyes of Jesus, well I am sure that in more ways than one he realized quite quickly that he left heaven this will be an adventure. As they left the stage the last things the kids doing the acting part which was going through the Nativity scene piece by piece and sharing what it meant, was to remind us what Mary did. Well, what she did after she calmly had her pain and a baby. Mary pondered. Of course Mary pondered. She's a women. We ponder. We think about. We rehash. We remember. We think back upon. We meditate. We mull over. Yep- we ponder all right. The difference is that we ponder about things that are so meaningless and worthless. We worry about our clean house (or lack of that first word- clean). We worry about if the food is good enough. We worry about if people will like our new couch. We worry about if anyone will remember our birthday (and yes I forgot 3 this past couple weeks). We worry; we don't ponder. Mary pondered these things. What things? The angel telling her she would be a mother without having sex, the fact that Joseph didn't have her put to death (unwed mothers were often put to death), that she made the trip on a donkey, the angels, the shepherds, the proclamation of who her son would be....what a difference my life would be if I pondered those things in my heart rather than the things I worry about.
I don't really make New Years Resolutions but I will try to ponder Mary's pondering rather than my meanderings. I will ponder what God has done for me, I will ponder the uninhibited joy of a child dancing with no hesitancy an the angel sneezing and still sang on. I will ponder the beauty of the Nativity and each role that the figures played in Jesus coming to earth to be my Messiah.
And yes, at the end you will never guess who came running back across stage when the others were walking off in line? Ok- you guess it. And he made me smile all over again- ok we laughed again. The joy of Christmas through the eyes of a child should make us do things because we can't help ourselves...and make others smile from the heart in the process.

Crisp morning air

It was early: well not really for people who actually get up early but for me it's early. The air was crisp. The ground was frozen and crunchy. As I walked, I tripped over puppies and cats. Their desperate need for affection was almost cute: to them very essential however to me quite an inconvenience. The barn door had beautiful frost pictures and the ice on grass is beautiful.  I almost hesitated to step on the grass as to try not to ruin the beauty God had presented to me.
The horses were eager for their hay.  They knew what they wanted and I had it.  They were eager to eat; something o never do until the chores are done.  And I worked, the air kept reminding me of the morning.. New mornings are beautiful. Even on a day like yesterday when I slept in to kick a headache, and ended up cleaning all day, it was rather fun to look out at the snowy windy day and have the chance to stay inside...for as long as I wanted. So either side of the window crisp is beautiful in different ways.
God gives us crisp mornings to remind us of our reliance on his waking us up. We take each step because of his mercy. I opened the door because he created me with hands. I walked and pulled a sled full of hay because I was blessed with energy, strength and the desire to work. I had the knowledge thanks to his giving me a brain and wisdom, I had the financial means to own 10 horses to feed all with different jobs and different abilities.  I was enjoying the crisp morning totally because God was allowing me.  My steps felt different when I thought of things thst way. My smile was bigger, my heart was lighter, it wasn't work as much as a privilege, the gates shut behind me knowing that I had the honor of being outside.  Any people didn't wake up today. Many more re housebound, bed- bound, restricted by life and its affects on their bodies and minds. Walking back to the horse, I stepped a little higher, pranced a bit more and enjoyed each time I heard the "smush-crunch" under my feet. For to live is Christ, and to walk in Minnesota in the winter time is great enjoyment. And there is no wind today...I should mention that's what makes it so enjoyable to be outside....
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Changing focus...can make things blurry

its time to change things up a bit in life...chang No ones focus can also make everything blurry.  Like the time I got bifocals. They said it would answer all my questions... make things better but they didn't tell me I had to get used to them. First night out we were doing a concert. I looked down st my music and...it wasn't there. All I saw was a Blurry mess. So, back to the car for the extra set is f glasses so I could see. Eventually it was no problem but that first week was tough.
So things are changing... the obligations I have had are over. It's time to change focus. I went to th missionary convention, ICOM, to find my next God adventure. I talked to tons of missionaries. I talked to groups, I listened and I prayed... blurry. Plus a flat tire and lots of rain and bad convention food. What I came back with was not what I started out thinking I might. It's still blurry but definitely it's something I would not have thought of..only God would come up with something like that. I know eventually things will be clear but I am a modern American women. I want to know all the plans and want to know now...without a waiting period. Incubation periods are for eggs not my ideas... how often do we talk about Jeremiah twenty nine and say we know the plans God has for us but not be willing to wait and be patient for them to grow, develope and mature? So blurry yet, yes...but I can see the outline and know the plan is there. God has a way of clearing things up in his own time.

How does God handle knowing too much?

 So I know too much. About a certain situation, I have way too much information. It's alarming, scary, hurtful but most of all I want to help. I see so many gaps, and there is nothing I can do. I ask, I try to point out little things and encourage to see the bigger things and it's met with not simply answers that are truthful but defensiveness. Defensiveness which  basically proves that something isn't right.  We seldom get upset over things that are just lying on the ground, but when the things lying on the ground are tripping us, we kick at them. The simple solution would be to pick them up but in our humanness, we simply kick at them when they annoy us. Truth would acknowledge that there is something there, move it or pick it up. Pretending there is nothing there only deludes us more.  I want to help others pick up their stuff... Move it! However, when others don't accept that there is something on the ground, I cannot change their perception of that truth.

How does God handle knowing all about us and not wanting to slap us upside the head? How does he simply let us make a fool of ourselves and not step in and say "Wait a minute"?  When we are praying to Him and talking, how does he not keep asking the questions so we tell the truth? How does he let us be surface and not pull his hair out; of course assuming he would have hair.  Its frustrating to know there are better answers and to not be allowed to even ask the questions. It's hard to watch someone struggle because of what others have done to them and they don't even see it.
So I know too much- and because knowledge isn't everything, it's frustrating. I cannot change the perception of others. I was told that truth is based on perception. I always thought truth is based on the facts as presented not as someone thinks they are. We have facts. We have our human desires. Sometimes those two things collide in the middle in a violent hurricane. If I want to believe the color of the stop sign is green, I have the option in life to believe that. That doesn't make a red stop sign become green it simply means I have the choice to not accept the color as it is.
So how does God watch us go through life knowing and not cry out?  How does God allow people to hurt others, lie, steal, and not step in and want to make it right? How does he sit by and watch others mess up their lives and not want to step in and help? How does he allow us to make poor decision after poor decision and not want to wash his hands and walk away? And, how does he continue to love when the hurt and the frustration feel like a ton of bricks on ones heart?
I have lots of questions for God.

Hope.....when the heart is lonely

I hope for many things. I hope the weather is good for the picnic. I hope we Ave a fun time with family. I hope I get my shopping list done. I hope, or anticipate, many times during the day. We hope because it gives us just s spark in th heart to take the next step. If we had no hope, we would stay in bed...or keep eating chocolate and black coffe trying to deal with our disappointment. Hope gives us an edge on our day. Hope...well it's one of the three things we read about in 1 Corinthians 13.   Faith, hope and love.  Why is hope in the middle? Why isn't it hope, faith and love. Or love, faith and hope?  The definition of hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.  So this week I went out on a limb and became hope. Not me, giving hope, but letting a friendship of many years take priority and be hope. What does hope look like? Love to or talking, playing with dogs, walking at a garden, looking at a dam, riding a chairlift up on top of a ski hill, make that plural, eating simple cheese and crackers in a parking lot, laughing and talking, tacos and meeting other people's friends, laughing a bit more, eating burgers at a cool place, hanging out at cool scenic places and letting a 90 year old man walk down memory lane and listen.  For so many of us just a simple smile and time spent with people to just be together is hope. Spending time with others helping their life just a bit better for the day. Giving the, hope that a smile and time means love. Hope that the faith we possess together gives us that love we all all crave. 
For me, it was a week out of my normal life, a plane ticket, a rental car, different beds, several tanks of gas and a ton of pictures.  What I got was tears. That's not the usual response to giving hope, but when hope moves the heart, one often gets tears. I drove away from Washington with a few tears and a praying still ringing in my ears. I left Portland with a lot of laughter, good meals together and a few crazy little adventures... what a way to live life...and feel hope that we serve a God who loves us and gives us hope but let's us be hope and feel hope through the love of others.  

True beauty

I am standing beside many others; many others. Most of them wives...well, all but the man in the large blue shirt. Not that the shirt was large, but the man was large and therefore his shirt was large enough to cover him and it did that well. We were in an elevator going down to the lower terrace to eat breakfast. Well, not really true either. I was going back down to take pictures of the torrential rain on the beach. There were many clothing options in the elevator and I would bet that all of us thought when we got dressed that we were somewhat, maybe, perhaps close to being as beautiful as we possibly could be. Showered, hair done, clothes chosen, earrings in, make up on and we were headed out to make our impact on the world in Marco Island, Florida.
Why didn't we just crawl out of bed and walk downstairs in our varied assortment of sleep wear?  Because we are proud and vain; we want to be beautiful. Sometimes we forget that beauty doesn't come out of the suitcase for beauty  begins in the heart.
Being beautiful isn't negative, God created a world that we call beautiful. We are beautiful and being everything God created us to be is true beauty. True beauty is more from more important than the arrangement of clothes in the elevator, it is in the eyes of the women. Laughter, smiles, non verbal words affirming that the morning was more beautiful than the sound of the rain on the roof. (It's really dry here and they desperately needed rain). Beauty is the beach; normally this time of day the beach would be crawling with shell collectors, walkers runners and children who couldn't wait to hit the ocean to play.  Right now the beauty of nature would have to wait.
True beauty doesn't need circumstances to bring a smile. True beauty sees the tiniest break in the clouds and makes others smile. True beauty laughs when the blue shirt in front of you makes it so you cannot see anything but blue. True beauty holds the door rather than walking out first. True beauty... is action not clothing or physicial features. True beauty is the laughter from within. True beauty makes others feel beautiful; even on a rainy day in Florida....

Laundromat and Inblessments

Laundromat and Inblessments
It's been many  years since I sat in a laundromat. Of all the things on my bucket list, going back to the laundromat wasn't there. However, since we are head long into Inblessments, the laundromat is necessary.  I am up north: my peaceful spot. Over 10 years ago I convinced Mr James Harry(husband) that we needed a cabin.  Of course my needometer was not simply for myself. My father many years ago had started the camp with that same idea: to bless others. I told Jim it was an investment. He seems to think that investments give you return on your money. So I have had to create a word: Inblessments.  The cabin has become a place we can offer to pastors, missionaries, people who need to get away or people that just need to be blessed.  They walk in and they walk out. The maid, me, then goes up north for a wonderful day of getting the Inblessments ready for someone else. We did have an old washing machine/dryer combo but the dryer never worked. So in winter, hanging the towels and sheets out to dry became a bit of a challenge.  So today, I am eating my salad at the local laundromat and feeling quite "local".  I am watching a gentlemen show his son how to do laundry... I usually just listen for my washing machine to sing it's cycle ending song. I have to go check here. And looking across the room, I watch 8 dryers go around and around and around. Laundromat are no respecter of persons. A grandpa looking man is folding clothes, a younger lady is loading a large machine, a seemingly college age student is sorting and the young man who learned which knobs to push a minute ago is sitting with dad, looking a mite bored..
This reminds me of life and the people we meet as we go about investing is what we call life. We can invest in them and expect something to come back from our investment, or we can inbless them and simply let God have the glory... now if only God would handle the towels and the bedding I would be blessed🤗... actually, reading the journal people write is is very humbling as to see how God works in a simply county cabin on a lake, when people slow down their lives long enough to listen to him talk to them and enjoy their families....that's another lesson I learned from my father....

Monday morning and contentment

Oh the feeling of Monday a.m. The snow is lightly falling, all 9 horses are up and eating. No major dilemma's over the weekend except for sore arms, shoulders and knees from too much youthful activity without youthful body parts. The dogs are lying at my feet content. The cat is happy I filled the food pan and I am waiting. I am not sure what I am waiting for, but we sometimes think the other shoe will fall. Or perhaps, life is too good right now, what is waiting around the corner? 

 My Bible study is written, the power point is ready except for the silly parts. I do have a list of things to do for the day but all in all, I am on the couch with my Bible to my left and my prayer book to the right and feeling like something is missing. We have all felt that way; if we are honest. Life is good, but. No, life is great yet maybe. I think often we think we need one more cookie to make us feel that dinner was complete. We need one more helping of casserole to satisfy us. We need one more gift under the tree, one more card for the birthday celebration and we feel that something is missing if we don't have that one more little something.
 ! Timothy 6:6 reminds me, "But godliness with contentment is great gain." It's hard to be content. There is always something we think is waiting for us to make us happier, more lovable, make our life easier or give us that "feeling" we are looking for. It's a Monday. I don't need a feeling. I don't need to be "more love". I don't need more chocolate ( I can't believe I said that), as many gave me chocolate for my birthday, I don't need someone to call me and ask how things are, I am content with what's on my left and in my heart; God's Word- that godliness portion of the verse. If today goes totally up in smoke, I have had my moment with God and all is well. If I have an awesome day with extra perks, all is well. If I get the list done that's waiting for me on my desk, all is well. If I don't get anything else done the rest of the day, well we will have to dig for more clothes to wear, but all is well. Having had my time with God is first but the next thing I am reminded to have is Contentment. I can try to be a reflection of God's holiness but it I don't reflect contentment, it's not what God had in mind. I had to take a paper to the Clinic the other day. After standing in line for 20 minutes, it was my turn. The lady apologized for the wait and I simply said, I am thankful I don't need to be here. I can wait. I was content with dropping off a paper rather than dropping off my X-rays for a cancer consult. I am very content.
Where in today will you see God, where will you reflect godliness and when will true contentment be a part of your heart? It's not as easy as the verse makes it sound!

Snow....whiter than snow

I woke up in the middle of the night, my normal middle of the night walk about to the room by the stairs, and I saw the snow. It had been lightly snowing when I went to bed, but this showed the beauty of a night of snow covering the land. This morning, the bushes had probably 4 inches, the birds are sitting waiting for me to clear off the feeders, and fill them, and the world is a beauty of snow tapestry...and I begin singing, "whiter than snow, yes whiter than snow. Now wash me and I will be whiter than snow."

 It's an old hymn,,,many probably have no clue but it's a beautiful song about forgiveness, baptism, sin and covering the sin. It's hard to cover something. I have tried to fix a few bloopers in my life and made it worse. It's hard to cover something and make it look perfect, as if it had never been. But snow, well snow covers and beautifies at the same time. Yes, we know there is mud and grass below, but snow covers. We can see the bumps and rising and falling of the landscape, up the snow covers and makes it look beautiful in its uniqueness. My life and my past have all the signs of fallen logs, misshapen bushes, fallen limbs from trees and forgotten ceramic decor. Somehow with the dirt and ugliness, I focus on them and see the starkness of their failure, not the possibility  of their redemption... and then it snows, and suddenly I see beauty, creativity, unique forms and fun pictures. What changed?  Snow. God simply covered it with snow. I see something totally refreshing. God does that with my heart, my past, my fears, my failure, my feeble attempts and my successes. 

It's kind of like chocolate covered pretzels. I am not a pretzel fan, but cover them with chocolate and give me the whole bowl. So let the snow remind us of the beauty God sees in us. How he cleanses us and though he doesn't remove some of the thorns forms our life, he creates a beautiful picture of forgiveness for us and we see how beautiful God can make our life appear when he dovers us with his forgiveness.  

Care full

So this morning I was reading Mattthew 5 out of the Message Bible. This verse grabbed me.... "you're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "care full" you will find yourself cared for."
I can have a pretty good pity party. I am good at it, I have worked my whole life at it and I do it well. Of course, no one else would know because I am doing the same things they are doing: smiling and saying I am fine.  It bothers me when my needs aren't cared for. It irks me when I have gaps in my heart and no one really seems to give a thought. I don't love people to be loved back, but yes, I sure do love people to be loved back. I AM HUMAN. That's what we do. So of course I care for people in hopes that some day I am cared for. However, the sermon on the mount just blew holes in my boat and I am sinking. Jesus just said, if I am caring for others, then I will be care full..that is what gives me the inside "wow" I am loved factor not when I am waited on hands and feet. When I am caring for others, that's the feeling God wants me to have...empty hands because I just served not empty hands because I am needing someone to fill them. He wants me sitting back on my heels because I am catching my breath not because I am waiting for someone to pull me up.  Jesus wants me searching for the wounded on the street, not waiting for my Good Samaritan.  Hmmmmm... my day will be spent being "care full",  not waiting to be cared for.  I wonder how I will see Jesus Today with this new perspective?

Passing shadows

I am reading through Psalm 144.
"Lord what is man, that you take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that you are mindful of him? Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow."
I was cleaning out my drawer and came across several funeral flyers. I keep them, odd as it may be, to remind me of this very idea in Psalms.  This time last year, all these people were going about their lives...living. Now their lives are represented by a funeral flier. Of course their lives are so much more than that, but for them, life down here is over.  From Lucas, our five year old neighbor, to our John, our 50 ish year old friend, to the Mary, a dear friend we bought the farm from, to dear Thelma at 97 and more recently musical and caring Lee. Their days, their shadows are gone leaving the memories and loved ones.
But how about the shadow? What makes a shadow? Shadows are made by an n image and a source of light. We used to play shadow tag. It's fun to make shadow pictures on the wall. It's great to take shadow photos... the better the image, the stronger the light, the better we place our vantage position, the cooler and more impressive the shadow.
I don't really do New Years resolutions although with this cold snap, I have taken down everything off the walls and am changing things around in the house. I guess my resolution would be to paint and mend the holes in the wall and then come up with a new  decorating theme..but for my life, I need to be a stronger image, I need to seek the more brilliant light so if next year I am in someone's desk as the info on a funeral flier, my shadow has some substance. God is my light and my salvation and and he is also a great way to make a make a shadow. My shadow is passing. There is no changing that little fact. We all are. If we endeavor to have a strong, clear witness as our image and the God of all light to make our shadow, perhaps when we leave, the shadow will be the witness we want to leave.

When there is nothing left but time...

when I was a busy mother of younger children, I thought about time;specifically time on my hands to do nothing. Time to choose my activity. Time to be quiet, ice to be busy, time to fold the laundry nicely and neatly, time for a cup of coffee ( I don't drink it but it sounds like such a nice thing) and time to read a book.  Now, they are gone. It's only the dogs and laundry looking me the eye and they don't demand my time, just my love...and to let them I. Out of the cold weather so I can walk over them all day.
Today, I have time on my hands. I still can choose how to use my time. I love winter because in our life that's a time to refresh. We are not busy. It's too cold and crappy to work horses. We do chore, check them over and come back in where it's warm.
Today I can read a book, should clean the house and do laundry, need to paint a window decor, make a couple frames for my canvas, I am playing at the school twice today, but all of that is optional. I have things I can do today,,,but what will I choose.
On the other hand I have a friend who has nothing left but time on her hands. A brain tumor has left her with time, but nothing to do. She lies in bed thinking but cannot express her thoughts.
She is ready for heaven, but left here on earth. I cannot imagine, and yet I think I know what I would do with time on my hands but will I?
We choose how to fill our minutes and hours.  We choose to be busy or relax. We choose to have a sabbath or to live in a frenzy. We choose to take a nap to refresh. We choose to add one more thing because we can't say no. But when time is all we have left, what will our minds wish we had filled our time with?
I am choosing peace. I a, choosing to serve. I am choosing to love. I am choosing to care. I am choosing to play the song one more time and explain positions to a 9th grade band boy who didn't realize the piano player also played trumpet through college. I am choosing to overlook the words
said that hurt my heart and give them mercy instead. I am choosing to fill my time with things that when there is nothing left but time, I will have no regrets.

This is one of the dogs that are in my way helping me do laundry many years ago...am thankful she isn't lying on the laundry now.... 

It's a new year

So what...it's a new year. It is only a day gone by on the calendar. A new calendar I might add. One that has new photos, empty slots and lots of dates.  Some use calendars as an extension of their mind. Ours is kind of like that. When someone calls about doing something, or if we have a free night, we go check the Main Calendar. We also write things on the dry erase board. The more we put dates, times, events in front of our mind, the better off we are to remember, be reminded and show up.
So other than a new calendar and the chance to say no to a few more things in life, what does the new year give to you?  Perhaps the challenge of writing 2017 on your checks, if you still use checks.  Perhaps, remembering that our life is but a vapor and quickly gone.  Perhaps you see it as an exciting canvas to paint and to explore. Perhaps it is an open book, one to read, explore, adventure in and you are pumped.  For many, it's just another day. No new years resolutions, no new exciting plans, no dreams and no "wow- look what I can do this year".  For others, it's the beginning of the end of a relationship, a life, health, family issues and you would just as soon ignore anything new and exciting because you know it won't be in your life.  Your heart is broken, you are angry and frustrated at how you must bear the consequences of others actions...and a new year with a ton of resolutions won't fix that.  
Isaiah 43:19 reminds us, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  So when all of your ideas, plans, or the stuff life has plooped in your lap is far from exciting, dramatic and romantic, take a look at what God can do... Perhaps it's not a New Years resolution for you, but a New Years observation of what God will do.  He is making a way in the wilderness, making streams where it's just dry and dusty and for us here in Minnesota right now, melting the ice that has made every parking lot a skating rink and the horse pastures a challenge.  
So, it's a new year. It's really just another day, but you can make it a new day by changing your perspective to a God will do resolution.  God sightings,  spirit watches, Jesus  get in the middle of my day kind of moments are what will give your heart a gentle nudge and remind you that regardless of the resolutions people make, without God in the middle of them, they are just empty hopes, dreams and broken promises..
Happy New Year- for what it's worth. Happy Old Year with all it's struggles and joys and may the day be ordained with God moments to remind you he is the ultimate resolution; to have a relationship with the creator of all.