Sunday, February 23, 2014

Angels on earth

One year ago I felt led to share a Love Gift at the Ladies Bible study I attend. The irony of the morning is that I could not stay for the rest of the study since it was the annual Valentine Luncheon I sponsor in my home town. I felt odd at giving my love gift and leaving but felt compelled to follow through.  Two ladies heard my talk which included my "Listen with your eyes" moment with my toddler and shared that when God took my babies life after he was born, was the beginning of my really listening to God.  Two ladies immediently said to each other, "She needs to talk to ___________." This young couple had just found out the baby she was carrying would have issues; probably not be born alive. They set up us up for a lunch date and we hit it off. We talked deep from the start and I felt it an honor to walk through the few months before their baby came. Their baby came and was born alive, with no brain, and lived until a few days ago. Almost 10 months they cared for an angel; then God said it's time.  I wrote this for them and wanted to share it. I have no idea who it will touch, but I have been honored to have held Ethan before they moved south.  

In my quest to understand God, I would have never thought it would take me into the presence of angels.  One often asks questions that cannot be answered even by God since we communicate on such a different level of understanding.  In my quest to understand why God uses things in life to draw me closer to him, I would have never thought he would have used earthly angels.  I am honored to have held two in my lifetime; my son and Ethan.
About a year ago I met Ethan although he wasn’t born yet.  I began praying for the journey that Britany, James and Ethan would embark upon. 22 years ago we were in that same journey and what an honor and privilege to be able to many years later, n walk along side and share in the angel among us.
Proverbs 3:5: “ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” It’s hard to trust in the Lord with all your heart, when your heart is heavy but God doesn’t give us parameters as to when to trust, he simply says “trust”.  We try to figure things out; we try to understand but it’s like looking at an economy car and thinking you are seeing a limo. Our understanding can’t begin to glimpse the insight of God. 
So how does one not lean on what we know; our understanding? By trusting, by walking, by living, by loving where God has placed us and with what God has given us to trust with.  For you, Britany and James, that part of trusting was with an angel named Ethan.  Understand; you had no clue what lay before you a year ago.  Trust; you walked on anticipating that God would help you put each foot in front of the other.  You trusted that God would give the wisdom to understand how to love a baby with special needs and with limited time to love.  God allowed you the honor of holding and loving an angel.  Right now you are missing that angel; even with the challenges and uncertainty that come with angels, you have empty arms and broken hearts. 
The path God has led you down this past year has altered your future. Britany, you will always be Ethan’s mother and James you will always be Ethan’s dad. How you choose to share that down the road will come with God’s leading.  In time people will ask you, “do you have any children?” and in time you will be able to say, “Yes, we have an angel”.  That will open up the chance for you to witness how incredibly God led you to “trust” in Him. Until that time comes when your heart is ready to include those words, trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lean on the strength He has sustained you with this past year.  Giggle about the fun times, look at the pictures, have a birthday cake, marvel over the angel God allowed you to hold in your arms, treasure in your heard and the angel that made you a family.

 “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  Thank you for your witness, your adventure and how God was honored every step of the way.  Ethan got the best life possible on earth and now has eternal life in heaven. I can’t wait to see how in 20 years God is using you to walk along side someone else through their time of “trusting”.