Our days in life with three legs

Up early this a.m. to get started on my devotions when I saw Erin. Erin is our outdoor cat. She is the grand-daughter of the cat some one left at our house years ago. We name them all, and developedrelationships with them all...all that is except Erin.  She was a loner. Somewhere along the line she broke her paw. Since she didn't want us to love her she wouldn't let anyone near. It healed broken. She is a three legged cat: a very speedy three legged cat I might say. Last year her mother died. Suddenly she became very interested in relationships; with us, the dogs, the ducks, the pillow in the shop or the horses. She is lonely.
I watched as she limped across the yard today and it reminded me of  my life.  I have hurt myself in many ways and because I didn't want anyone to help me, I healed broken. Actually, having a broken leg has brought out other gifts in Erin just as being broken has brought out other things God wanted me to learn about in myself.
Being broken is normal...why we think normal is perfect I will never know. Jesus was perfect. He was abnormal.  I am broken. That is normal. I limp through life doing better than I might have done without being broken because I am aware of what broken means.  I am aware that God needs to be a part of my life so my limp is an asset not a liability. When I find myself doing and saying things from my broken perspective, I need to be reminded that God presence in my life restores my brokenness.  Being broken reminds me I need God. Being broken lets me look at others and realize we all are limping around on three legs...and that's normal. A relationship with Jesus Christ allows me the chance to speak with eloquence when all I do broken is stutter. A relationship with Christ allows me to fly without wings.  A relationship with Christ allows me...enables me and I am a different person.
Especially at Easter we are reminded that someone was perfect, then, broken, then made whole. Because of his sacrifice, we don't need to limp through life running away from things but let him heal and restore us to fly as Eagles and run and not grow weary.

Sleeping.....well not right now of course.

I used to tell the family I was going to sleep....45 minutes later after having finishing the dishes, loading the laundry, picking up the house, double checking the dogs and writinge a list for tomorrow I would head finally for bed.
Now when I say I am going to sleep, it's the time I cuddle on the love seat with the cat and go through my prayer book, prayer list and evening devotion.  And since the husband is sick and sleeping downstairs cuz he can breathe better sitting up, I get the whole bedroom to myself....except of course the cat.
So I am sleeping...or rather I am slowing myself down to prepare for sleep. When the kids were little I don't remember doing this. I fell in bed exhausted, happy and thrilled that the day ended without major injuries or melt downs.  Now, I take a nap after lunch and when I go to sleep, it's more time to think so I don't always sleep. Falling asleep is a challenge. Why is it that some of our best prayer time is when we try  to sleep?
  I woke this a.m. and challenged by the message last Sunday, I did try to rise early while it was still dark like Jesus did.  One of the many differences between myself and Jesus... I couldn't quite get out of bed. I realize Jesus didn't probably have a Serta sleeper, with extra plush queen top.  Jesus probably didn't have three nice warm blankets over him and two, no, three pillows snuggled around.  perhaps if the luxuries of life were missing, getting out of bed to pray wouldn't quite be as much of a challenge as I seem to make it. However, I can get quite intimate with God snuggled in my nest...and I can listen as he speaks to my heart...and then I get up and get the prayer book out...

Angels on earth

One year ago I felt led to share a Love Gift at the Ladies Bible study I attend. The irony of the morning is that I could not stay for the rest of the study since it was the annual Valentine Luncheon I sponsor in my home town. I felt odd at giving my love gift and leaving but felt compelled to follow through.  Two ladies heard my talk which included my "Listen with your eyes" moment with my toddler and shared that when God took my babies life after he was born, was the beginning of my really listening to God.  Two ladies immediently said to each other, "She needs to talk to ___________." This young couple had just found out the baby she was carrying would have issues; probably not be born alive. They set up us up for a lunch date and we hit it off. We talked deep from the start and I felt it an honor to walk through the few months before their baby came. Their baby came and was born alive, with no brain, and lived until a few days ago. Almost 10 months they cared for an angel; then God said it's time.  I wrote this for them and wanted to share it. I have no idea who it will touch, but I have been honored to have held Ethan before they moved south.  

In my quest to understand God, I would have never thought it would take me into the presence of angels.  One often asks questions that cannot be answered even by God since we communicate on such a different level of understanding.  In my quest to understand why God uses things in life to draw me closer to him, I would have never thought he would have used earthly angels.  I am honored to have held two in my lifetime; my son and Ethan.

About a year ago I met Ethan although he wasn’t born yet.  I began praying for the journey that Britany, James and Ethan would embark upon. 22 years ago we were in that same journey and what an honor and privilege to be able to many years later, n walk along side and share in the angel among us.

Proverbs 3:5: “ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” It’s hard to trust in the Lord with all your heart, when your heart is heavy but God doesn’t give us parameters as to when to trust, he simply says “trust”.  We try to figure things out; we try to understand but it’s like looking at an economy car and thinking you are seeing a limo. Our understanding can’t begin to glimpse the insight of God. 

So how does one not lean on what we know; our understanding? By trusting, by walking, by living, by loving where God has placed us and with what God has given us to trust with.  For you, Britany and James, that part of trusting was with an angel named Ethan.  Understand; you had no clue what lay before you a year ago.  Trust; you walked on anticipating that God would help you put each foot in front of the other.  You trusted that God would give the wisdom to understand how to love a baby with special needs and with limited time to love.  God allowed you the honor of holding and loving an angel.  Right now you are missing that angel; even with the challenges and uncertainty that come with angels, you have empty arms and broken hearts. 

The path God has led you down this past year has altered your future. Britany, you will always be Ethan’s mother and James you will always be Ethan’s dad. How you choose to share that down the road will come with God’s leading.  In time people will ask you, “do you have any children?” and in time you will be able to say, “Yes, we have an angel”.  That will open up the chance for you to witness how incredibly God led you to “trust” in Him. Until that time comes when your heart is ready to include those words, trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lean on the strength He has sustained you with this past year.  Giggle about the fun times, look at the pictures, have a birthday cake, marvel over the angel God allowed you to hold in your arms, treasure in your heard and the angel that made you a family.

 “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  Thank you for your witness, your adventure and how God was honored every step of the way.  Ethan got the best life possible on earth and now has eternal life in heaven. I can’t wait to see how in 20 years God is using you to walk along side someone else through their time of “trusting”.   

Help- I am so confused....

The smile says it all.  She has been learning to ride horse. She doesn't seem to have any fears and she loves whatever we throw at her. Since we figured we needed a new guinea pig, we thought we would try doing something different with her when it came to trotting. Trotting is a gate that is bumpy. What happens is the kids learning to trot bounce all over the saddle and in the process pull back on the reins, which tells the horse to stop. After about 30 minutes of that the horses have had it and literally walk over to the hitching post and look at us like "Help; I am so confused."  

We put her on a lunge line and we did the work and all she had to do was sit in the saddle and balance. After several weeks of going in circles with someone else directing the horse we turned the reins over to her and let her go. Instant sucess.  She knew how to "sit in the saddle" so to speak and wasn't pulling back on the horses mouth and we had happy child plus a happy horse.

In life that happens to me so often.  I try something that God is laying on my heart and I kind of mess up because it's new and I'm bouncing all over.  I don't really want to ask for help because that would be "childish" so I brave it all alone. I bounce all over, I pull back on the reins, I keep giving mixed signals and eventually I come to a stop and give God this pathetic look "Help; I am so confused."  

What does God do?  He simply directs my attention to others who would come along side of me and "hold the reins" while I get the feel of the saddle.  Others who direct and show me how to do what my passion is leading me to. We are not directed anywhere in scripture to go it alone.  The entire New Testament church was about coming along side and being a community to help others walk where we have walk or in our case, trot where others have trotted.

We have a happy horse and a happy girl. Both understand what is expected of them and each can do their job.  How much better we would do things for God if we teamed up with others and learned side by side...

Nehemiah's Prayer

I didn't grow up quoting the Lord's prayer. In fact, I didn't even memorize it until later in life. Why, you might ask? I'm assuming because things done in rote often lose their meaning. We were taught to pray; talking to God not reciting a prayer. The older I get the more beauty I see in the pattern Jesus gave us in the Lord' prayer; not something that we quote but something we live. I have, however, found another prayer that would be a good one to simply "live by". Several years ago I began a prayer journal of sorts with four aspects to it. Praise, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication. In detail I have written out praises, scripture, psalms, then gone on to detail my confessions for the day of which I tended to get sometimes a bit too graphic, and then thanksgiving and finally I would start on my "list".
Nehemiah 1:5-11 has become my 'new prayer'. Here it is..." I said, “God, God-of-Heaven, the great and awesome God, loyal to his covenant and faithful to those who love him and obey his commands: Look at me, listen to me. Pay attention to this prayer of your servant that I’m praying day and night in intercession for your servants, the People of Israel, confessing the sins of the People of Israel. And I’m including myself, I and my ancestors, among those who have sinned against you.
“We've treated you like dirt: We haven’t done what you told us, haven’t followed your commands, and haven’t respected the decisions you gave to Moses your servant. All the same, remember the warning you posted to your servant Moses: ‘If you betray me, I’ll scatter you to the four winds, but if you come back to me and do what I tell you, I’ll gather up all these scattered peoples from wherever they ended up and put them back in the place I chose to mark with my Name.’ “Well, there they are—your servants, your people whom you so powerfully and impressively redeemed. O Master, listen to me, listen to your servant’s prayer—and yes, to all your servants who delight in honoring you—and make me successful today so that I get what I want from the king.”
Of course the situation was different than what I am dealing with today, but God is still the same God. We have sinned, we have confessed, we have prayed, we have treated God like dirt, we have turned our backs and snubbed our noises and still.... because God loves me he will listen to my prayer and give me what I want from the kings I deal with on a daily basis. Cool! Absolutely Cool. It still means that there are a few things I have to do. First of all, I have to pray, I have to fear his name and I have to put my foot out and walk into the kings of my life for God to prosper my day and grant me mercy. It's still in my court, but I have an incredible team player standing beside me to back up anything that gets by me... because nothing comes to me that hasn't come through the heart an the hands of God first.

One lone flower

I was at the cabin over the weekend studying for my next Bible study session and to free my brain I would go sit on the edge of the dock.  The lake is nice and warm; down a bit because we need rain but otherwise very calming. Off to the left the lily pads covered the water and one lone flower bloomed. A white flower amid the green and blue looked so lonely.  A simple white flower, so pure and lovely, and yet so all alone. I'm not sure a flower has feelings, but if a flower did, would it feel alone as you and I do so often?  Would it feel left out, forgotten, depressed because no one else was open and blooming at that certain place and time? I do that! I might be the only flower open in my area so I look around and begin coming up with reasons why I am alone and no one else is out.  When I choose to do that, and it is my choice, I lose the beauty of my blooming simply because God put me there to bloom.  This white flower just sat and looked beautiful. Totally unaware that there were other buds close by that hadn't opened yet, seemingly unconcerned that it was having it's moment in the sun, this white flower was just there. It reminded me of God's love, it gave me a reason to just smile, and of course take a picture. Perhaps it's only reason for blooming that morning was to give me a glimpse of God.  I need to remind myself that what is happening around me is rather insignificant to the fact that God has me open at that place and time because it's his idea. Whether or not anyone else is blooming around me, is totally insignificant; I need to just be who I am where God placed me because He knows what's best. Someone may be sitting on the dock and see me and just smile.   Marette Jorgenson

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Hold on and be sure you come down in the saddle.

One of the things I love to do is go to horse shows and "shoot" kids riding.  This last weekend was a show near home so after the Pleasure part was done we took horses home and came back. I brought the camera and just sat and took pictures. One of my favorite events is Jump Figure 8.  They jump their horses over a small jump, do a figure 8 around three barrels and come back through the jump.  This young man has been riding horse since he was able to sit up. Not only is he a sweetheart, but his name is Tyler. We call him little Tyler as my boy is named Tyler and 150 pounds bigger!  Sunday Tyler's horse went airborne and so did Tyler. He really loves it when she does that; and might I say she's on the older side of the horse life.  He stayed with her and came back down in the saddle, continued on his way and won the class with the best time beating his older sister who generally takes all the trophies.  

So how can I when life sends me over a jump and I lose my normal "seat", how can I come back down in the saddle and keep going?  If you ride horse and fight the natural flow of the horse you will come off the horse. If you go with the flow, the speed, the beat, the airborne moments and go with the beat of the horse, you will have a better chance of keeping your balance and staying with and on the saddle.  

God gives me the ability to roll with the punches; if I choose to.  I have the chance to kick against the momentum or go with it.  It's easier to direct a rolling rock than try to move it when it's in a hole.  Go with the flow God has set in your life.  It may take you places you really hadn't planned on going, but go with the momentum God is creating rather than buck against it.  Ironically, God is stronger and will win anyway, so just flow with the bucking horses in your life and hang on!!!